Mar 10

Introducing Internal Dialogue

After the shopping trip on Saturday I was trying to think of a way to write about how the slight confusion felt and decided to use internal dialogue.

But during the reverie of just resting in the sun the internal dialogue carried on and made me smile. So I thought why not share, somebody might find it as amusing as I did. So without further ado I inflict them on you too – please give a big welcome to Internal Dialogue.



What’s your name then?

I don’t have a name.

Why not?

I don’t need one. There are only the two of us here.

What difference does that make?

You speak then I speak. No confusion.

OK. I get it. But what if someone else joins us?

They won’t. You know one of his  favourite acronyms.

Oh yes. K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid. And  I can see that three of us here, if only two are needed, would violate that. I can only see one problem though.

What’s that?

The boss is stupid. Wouldn’t Internal Monologue be simpler? You say something, you say something. definitely not confusing.

Well, to be fair. Critical thinking really isn’t his forte at the moment. Anyway – I say something, You say something is no harder to type than I say something, I say something.

Oh yes, I see. And, yes not having names really helps there.

So, now we have got that sorted, are you ready to say Hello to the readers?

The readers?

Yes the readers. We are going out to the internet. We are are going to be part of a blog – people will read what we say.

Why would they want to do that?

He finds us amusing and thought other people out there might enjoy us too.

I don’t really fancy all that extra work.

What extra work?

Well, he is so easily amused. Especially at the moment. It’s going to be harder work to amuse other people.

We don’t have to  – we only have to amuse him. Anything else is a bonus.

That’s all right then.

So, are you ready to say hello now?

But we are still in Draft.

That’s because the post isn’t finished yet. But if we wait till it is, the hello will come at the end. So we will  just have to pretend for now.

I think I can handle that. But who says it?

I don’t think it really matters. But lets say it together. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.

‘Hello Readers’

So, these readers, are they important then?

The only reason we are really here.

What if they don’t like us?

The ones that don’t like us will go away disappointed, but some might enjoy us.

That’s a lot of responsibility on us if he wants readers.

No it’s fine, he writes about other stuff too.

Oh yes, I see. Other posts. Not very many and some are very old.

I know, pathetic isn’t it. But he did apologise.

What was that? I felt a bump.

He has written an introduction to us.

Oh, that’s nice. But he said inflict. Inflict – doesn’t he take us seriously?

Think about it.

Oh, that’s another bump. Wow. We’re out. We’re Posted. But two other posts have disappeared. We’ve lost the one about the Sword Fragarach and the Prog Rock Band Gandalf’s Fist.

Don’t worry about it they’re still there. Just not on the first page any more.

Oh good, because Hymn to Ratri has just gone too. But why are we still talking? I thought we were posted.

We are. But he is still editing. Don’t forget he is new at this. He is wondering how much more of this to put in.

We did go on a bit that afternoon didn’t we. But won’t this be a bit confusing? How will the readers know when we are finished if he keeps on adding stuff?

No problem, he will be finished well before we get any readers. Nobody knows where here yet. But as we have already said hello we could just say a goodbye.

Ooh, ooh, can we do the goodnight one?

Oh yes, that one. I know how much you have wanted to do that one. And how about that for timing, I think this is it. Tell me when you are ready then I’ll start.

OK. Ready.

And it’s goodnight from me.

And its goodnight from him.


Well that’s that then.

Will we be back.?

We’ll have to wait and see



Mar 09

I wasn’t going to post today – but

After yesterdays vast improvement I was a bit disappointed with today. Pretty much the same but minus any energy. I suppose it is Sunday though – pretty much a lazy day anyway. Did manage to get round to having a shave.

It does now seem to have been going on for ever though. And I was only in the hospital for five days. I really have to feel sorry for those needing longer periods of treatment.

Did find myself going down to the kitchen twice with a spoonful of coffee in my cup and a tea-bag in my hand. Ha Ha.

I did though get angry when I managed to bang my leg. Now that’s  more like the original me.

Mar 08

Woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head

Hmm – another Beatles lyric. OK boys, I get then hint.

Felt a positive lazybones this morning. Didn’t wake till 7.50 am.  I was pleasantly surprised the steroid effects had lessened so dramatically as I had been expecting it to be more gradual. Still there but more under control. Stayed out in the garden for some time, but more because it was a nice morning rather than the need to pace about like some caged animal.

Higher cognitive skills seem to be returning. Which is good as, it would like to do something with my also woefully underwritten technical blog while I’ve still got the writing bug.

Talking of which. I really should thank the whoever or whatever that my computer went kaput when it did. I would really have been in trouble if it had gone after I came out of the hospital as it is also my TV.

Oh, before I go off to do some shopping and forget. This is a great get out of bed song.

Matt Bianco – Get out of your lazy Bed 1984

I’m glad I checked the Beatles lyrics, I had forgotten about this one.

Got back from shopping and felt pleasantly tired. It’s daylight and I could actually sit, just sit, out in the garden and enjoy a cup of tea.

While I was out I had a little incident that reminded me I am not completely out of the woods yet.

This is a nice walk.

Yes it is. But don’t forget it has a purpose.

Oh yes . Shopping. We need to get some money.

OK. There’s the machine. Lets go for that.

The money’s not coming out.

Did you put the wrong pin number in?

No. It’s the card. It’s not working. It’s just sitting there.

Aha, I think I’ve found the problem.

Ha ha. Oh yes. I don’t think  trying to use the Iceland Bonus Card works well at a bank.

Mar 07

More of the Same

Feeling pretty smug with myself now. Even under the circumstances I have managed to finish off yesterdays post and I’m on target to get this post out today if I keep it short.

This morning was a bit of an adventure. Expecting a normal signing on day, I thought, I can handle this and headed down for 9.25 am, only to find I’ve got a review. I am not sure how I managed to get through it and I kept wondering when somebody would realise that I was as high as a kite.

I suppose really I should have not signed the declaration. If I  had to attend an interview or start work immediately I would have been well and truly rumbled.

No wonder you get to carry a yellow card. I can just see the scenario. “Sorry Officer. Yes I am stoned. But it’s all quite legal thanks to the medication I am on.”

Tapering off of effects quicker today. Nearly managed to watch The Chase in one hit and was fine by The Gadget Show at 7.00 pm.

Only six  more days of this to go. OK , that does still sound long, but I am not tempted to cut the treatment short.


Nearly forgot. Ta Da

Mar 06

I get up I get down I get up I get down

Well – Yesterday was pretty much the same as Monday so I thought today I’d being doing my first normal post today – but plans of mice and men and all that.

A new development. Woke up, made my first cup of coffee and then had to wonder how many others I had already had. Wired I think was the word I thought of.

Concentration shot, I couldn’t even do my Viking Clan session in one go,  but bundles of energy. Must be something to do with the tailing off of the Steroids.

Upsides. All those little niggling jobs around the place that I never seemed to have time to do. Sorted. Plenty of gentle exercise.

Downsides.The body just seemed to want on going but thought processes veered from butterfly hyper-drive to almost total shut-down.

I am really glad the weather has been good and I have access to a garden. My place is definitely too small to keep a caged animal.

Saw my first bumble bee of the year.

Went for a walk to the shops lunchtime and body just wanted to keep on going. If it was down a country lane, a trail in the woods or along a windswept beach (no cliff paths), I may have gone with the flow, but didn’t see much point in walking through streets of houses.

Well no crash and burn, just a tapering off of the effects through late afternoon and early evening. By 8.00 pm I was actually relaxed enough and could concentrate enough to vege out in front of the TV.

Mar 04

I Can’t Dance

Good start to the day. Very early for me but I’m still on hospital time. Sure I’ll get back to my old layabout ways soon. Oh so nice to be able to go and switch on the TV while I play catch up with emails and Facebook. Had some toast and marmalade for breakfast so  could take my pills. No pain so it looks like I have a  whole packet of Paracetamol for future needs.

A nice slow saunter into Ilford to get a new library book and get a bit of shopping. So far so good. The only downside is I still feel a little woolly headed – I don’t think I’ll be doing anything too technical today.

And then about 4.00 pm my throat feels sore and I’ve got a bit of a headache. It took me some time to realise that it might be because I’d just spent the last five minutes singing and dancing to I Can’t Dance by Genesis.

I had been updating some facebook info and down by the music section I wondered why I had a button on an album cover.

Mar 03

I’m Back Again (Reprise)

Well a couple of eventful weeks. First my  hard disk finally gives up the ghost so I bring forward the date of buying a brand spanking new computer, and then, before I really have a chance to play with it, I have an unscheduled winter break courtesy of the NHS.

Nothing too serious. Just some bacteria that had decided that some part of me near the throat was a good place to set up home. Needed a bit of help from the NHS bailiffs to evict them.

No internet, no TV for 5 days. How did I cope? Well, after the initial panic and shock, reasonably well. But more of those adventures later.

Anyway, I got back home about 7.20 pm and am now playing catchup in a major way. Thank you, thank you On Demand TV. Mainly BBC iPlayer at the moment but the others will get their turn in due course.


Feb 16

Nous Sommes du Soleil

We are of the Sun

This post title is taken from a track on the double album Tales From Topographic Oceans by Yes.

Actually the full title is Ritual: Nous Sommes du Soleil which is even more apt as I am sure if I lived in those far gone times I would have been a Sun Worshipper.

We are of the Sun.  I really like this phrase, both literally and figuratively true.

And isn’t it wonderful to see it again.

The irony of it is, because it is still low in the sky and because of the aspect of my room the first thing I have to do before using my computer is close the curtains.

Feb 15

I’m Back Again

Oh dear. I have been very remiss in my blogging duties. A very long time since my last post, although I may do some back dated posts so it doesn’t look so bad 🙂 I did have some notes somewhere for posts I could have done.

I blame it a little on laziness and a lot because of the free to play multiplayer role-playing fantasy game Lord of the Rings Online – I seem to have become a bit of an addict. I am thinking I shall have to write about my adventures and experiences there.

Apr 14

The Joy Of Spring

At last a day that looks and feels like spring, in fact, it’s quite glorious and fills me with joy.

It looks like my winter beard will have to come off soon. I must take some pictures of it though. I haven’t grown one in years and it will be interesting to compare with the last one when I had no grey hairs.